Enlightment! Or something.

This card represents your happy next-door neighbors who will loan you their lawnmower which may or may not contain some attached whips and chains and Richard Nixon masks. 

They are the embodiment of having fun within the bounds that you, rather than others, deem acceptable. This card calls us to examine where in our lives we can push the envelope and have some enjoyment that we’ve been otherwise hiding from.

"B+?? I WILL THROW YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE!! So you can get a head start on getting to the restaurant where we're taking you out to celebrate."

This card represents the inverse of the critical Asian dad archetype who will cut you out of the will if you get anything less than an A+ on every exam. Instead, the Asian dad who’s perfectly fine with your B+ card stands for unconditional love, support and acceptance. 

Where in your life have you been a perfectionist that you can now treat with love and grace? 

The Waffle House Cook is just as likely to use her knife on a belligerent customer who doesn’t pay for their grits as she is on the two-buck-chuck that will accompany your delicious, buttery, heart-clogging eggs. Honey, she's seen everything at that Chattanooga countertop.

This card represents power, strength and confidence.

The Waffle House Cook doesn't take anyone's crap, and this card is a reminder that you shouldn't either.

 “Girl, you need to leave him yesterday”, is the siren call of the Hairdresser / Life Coach / Dalai Lama who has a deep, intuitive understanding of the world and the people in it. 

This card is a reminder that you already have all the answers you seek, hidden somewhere between your life experience, innate compass and $175 blowout for your sister's wedding.

“Yessir!”, says the Mystic of Myrtle Beach to damn near everything, the paragon of living presently and fully in one’s beingness. 

This card represents the person who knows how to enjoy a day off among friends, family, and a $14.99 seafood buffet washed down by a dozen shotgunned Bud Lights.

This card beckons you to stop, look around, and appreciate the beauty of your present moment, the people in it, and the opportunity for enjoyment it provides.

This card is the epitome of selflessness, as the 2 a.m. shawarma guy enthusiastically slices meat off a rotating spit to soak up the hangovers of that evening’s bar patrons. This archetype speaks to a deep spirit of giving, of stepping into one’s gifts to service others in their time of need. 

This card is a reminder that we often show up for people in ways big and small, changing their lives in the process.

...and saving them from a date with an icepack and Pedialyte the next morning.

Open for business, says the pineapple in front of the house in the 55+ Florida or Arizona community. Possibly North Dakota as well for the reverse snowbirds. This card explores the notion that what was once unthinkable may yet be possible, should you be open to the exploration. 

The Retired Swingers are the manifestation of new possibilities after a long period of time tethered to one person, path or belief. And the affirmation that you are allowed to retire from that which no longer serves you, stepping into a new tomorrow of expansiveness and exploration and regular venerial testing.

"Every praise, is to our Western Omelette..."

Really, what good is a stack of pancakes if the table next to you that just arrived from Pentecostal services isn’t lighting you up with the sounds of ecstatic worship?

The Gospel Choir serenading IHOP card is an indicator that the joyful song of creation is always within you; asking you to shake those hips, bust out a tune and immerse in the delight of connecting to something greater than yourself. 

It’s also nudging you to get Sister Act 3 made. It’s time. High time. Call someone. Anyone. Let’s do this.

Headbanging in the early 90s didn't lead to a date with urgent care, but those were the early 90s, when half the world looked like extras from a Wayne's World movie.

Now, even though the Arthritic Metalhead is well into his 50s and his preferred drink has evolved from a Jack and Coke to a Benefiber Margarita, the life force is still every bit as rockin'. 

This card explores the notion that we’re never too old to be truly alive, active and badass; even if we may require a walker and cortisone shot to get there.

Bowling is the sport reserved for world-class athletes who would unfairly dominate the competition in football, basketball or quiddich if given the opportunity. The Elite Athlete card is the representation of this excellence, the pinnacle of competitive greatness manifested in one single throw of the ball on a lane that probably hasn’t seen any regular maintenance since the Reagan years.

Drawing this card is the universe imploring you to tap into your competitive excellence in whichever field you pursue; swimming in the energy that drives you to be your best and beat the team named “Bags and Balls”.

"Checkmate, chump!", says the guy to himself while others at the park eat their sandwiches and look upon him with envy.

This is one of the most powerful cards in the deck, reminding you that your own company, and contentment within it, has always been the true key to the castle. 

The guy who beats himself at chess thoroughly enjoys this self-company and especially so when pigeons don’t use his chessboard as a toilet. 

We all know her...bless her heart. Conniving and scheming to destroy you like the Cersei Lannister of Marketing.

That Bitch at Work is a card that asks you to explore the unresolved conflicts in your life; who are your enemies past and present who are out to get you, and why? 

It is also asking you to dig into what role you may have had in creating the conflict, as the Bitch at Work will continue surfacing until the underlying wound is healed, self-responsibility is accepted, and/or she finally gets fired because HR's had it up to here with her antics.

This card indicates an escalation or reconciliation with this person may be close at hand depending on the path you choose. 

It’s all fun and games with this guy until a brawl breaks out on a cruise ship and you realize he just picked up a few useless moves from watching Cobra Kai. 

The dude who pretends he knows Karate is a shadow projection of deep feelings of powerlessness, and projecting a false aura of strength in order to compensate. 

Drawing this card is a direct line into our illusions of dominance that frankly aren’t fooling anyone. Especially the former linebacker at the sailaway party who just pile-drove you into a group of singles doing the Electric Slide.

“You’ll LOVE this place! The previous owners never had ANY issues!“ he declares confidently, as he knows the roof is one good light rain away from caving in on your head during family bingo night. 

The Realtor who’s definitely on the level card is a warm compress that brings to the surface our own ethical shortcomings, the lies we tell, the boundaries we blur, and the stories we weave to get what we want.

This card also reminds us to get that damn mold inspection before signing on the dotted line. For real.

 He will open doors, buy flowers, lavish compliments, and then turn into Jack the Ripper the minute he’s turned away.

The “Nice Guy” on the apps card is a profound look into the seething feeling of inadequacy we carry around, masked with niceness and people-pleasing, but quickly turning like sour milk once exposed at the nerve level.

This card is asking us to look at how we deal with rejection; with dignity and acceptance, or insisting they're ugly and we never liked them anyway.

This card exists to disrupt your quiet reading time, virtual team meeting or good night’s sleep with thumping vibrations that can be felt and heard across state lines. The Obnoxious Bass Thumper card is asking you to examine where in your life you feel unseen and unheard, and what behaviors you may be undertaking in order to compensate. 

Are these behaviors productive or a nuisance?

It’s also asking you to get a new speaker system.

 This is a card that taps into one of the most visceral shadow elements; a posture of hostility towards fellow living things, not limited to Yankees fans, Connecticut drivers and the guy who took the spot you spent an hour shoveling out. 

The Boston woman who hates your guts for no apparent reason card is a sign that the hostility you harbor for a person, a place, a thing or an experience is calling out to be addressed and healed at the root level before you cut someone...

Once upon a time in Virginia, a Honda Civic driver took this Trooper on a fleeing joyride through five counties. Since that day, every Honda Civic driver has been ticketed for going 71 in a 70 in his jurisdiction while being concurrently threatened with lethal injection.

The Trooper who has it out for Honda Civic drivers card is a manifestation of a festering grudge that we're still holding onto, making us act a fool in the process. 

What do we refuse to release? And how does it show up?

 “BOOOOOO!!!!!!” The elegant sound of the Eagles, Flyers, Sixers, and Phillies fan can be heard throughout the cosmos due to its passionate ferocity. 

Whatever's going wrong in the life of this person is the fault of the millionaire on the field who was supposed to make 'em feel better about it, and didn't do their job. 

 The Philadelphia Sports Fan card is the archetype of projection, identifying a scapegoat to deflect from one’s own life frustrations. Who are we booing in our circles...and why? 

 That itch on your arm? Absolutely stage 75 metastatic cancer with a side of malaria and tuberculosis. The Web MD enthusiast card brings us face to face with our mortality and fear of death.

How does this fear present itself in our decisions, our anxieties and our relationship to life itself? 

The Don Juan of the dog park will stop at nothing to get what he wants; and bringing that adorable little furball home from the shelter is the keystone of his master plan. The guy who adopts puppies to pick up women card shines a light on our own spirit of exploitation.

Who have we used to get what we want regardless of their feelings and needs? And have we at least provided that used living thing with the good stuff instead of the cheap store-brand chow? 

 The moment when you see a $29 room on a booking app, only to check out and find the trip will cost you the GDP of Costa Rica. The $50 Vegas Resort Fee card is our shadow of greed; one that implores us to ask - what do we hoard at the expense of others? 

The last of the chips and salsa, a few extra rolls of toilet paper during a pandemic or the estate left to us by gramps after he remembered he had four grandchildren instead of three? 

 How do you feel about your home? We certainly know how the HOA President feels when she gives you a list of 38 violations, including that blade of grass that grew .003 cm too high in April and a scratch on your garage door that happened ten minutes ago. 

The HOA President card indicates some judgement you hold about your own home life. The exterior, interior, or personal situation within it...and calls you to get that house in order. Lest she show up with 38 more violations next week.

Because she will.

Oh, she will.

 The Disapproving Sister-in-law card is a direct one that confronts a dynamic we all face: How do we avoid seeing her again for New Year’s Eve? Really. I mean, remember last year? We’ve all tried very hard to forget.

It also confronts another dynamic - who are we withholding approval from and not giving a fair shake to in our lives? This card wants us to examine our ecosystem and honestly ask who we’ve unfairly judged and held to a perhaps unreasonable standard. 

 Snug in his mother’s basement, unkempt neck beard worn upon his proud face and nacho cheese slathered about, the Oracle of Reddit casts aspersions upon all those who know less about a topic that he presumes expertise upon. 

This card asks us to look at our own judgements about knowledge and how we cast them upon others. Do we look down on someone because they know less about a topic than we do, and if so, how does that show up? 

“When are you getting married? Why don’t I have grandchildren yet? Why have you only called six times today? You put on so much weight. Stop that right now. How can you work THAT job?” 

The Overbearing Mother card is the pinnacle of intrusive reflection; do we interfere in the lives of others and insist we know what’s best for them...even better than they do? How is this interest in them received? This card summons us to a place of listening and understanding to allow those we love the space to carve their own path.

 It’s not enough to bring sexy back. You must bring it back for the neighbors to see when rolling this week’s garbage out onto the curb. The Guy who wears a suit to take out the trash card is a look at the premium we place on our physical appearance and the power we allow the judgments of others to have over our own self-worth. 

How much emphasis do we put on our appearance and that of others? Is every day a beauty pageant? And if so, why haven't we heard a canned speech about world peace yet?

 The world is a chaotic place, but thankfully, your aunt has all of its solutions at her social media-enabled fingertips. Every day, she litters the landscape with posts insisting that this person is terrible, those people are even worse, and that if you only listened to her, this would all be solved by lunchtime. What appears insufferable to others has become quite normalized to her. 

The Insufferable Aunt on Facebook card ponders the question - who do we judge as being less righteous than ourselves? How did we arrive at the authority to make that judgement? And how is our own sense of righteousness received by others? 

 “Let me hear from my KINGS!”, shouts the manosphere podcaster, imploring his listeners to chime in with tales of betrayal and gym-fueled self-worth recovery that paint all women as an untrustworthy, hostile monolith. 

The Manosphere Podcaster card taps into the deep vein of generalizations we fall into when we declare that all men, all women, all tall people, all unreasonably tall, almost fictional people are all essentially the same; seeing the category instead of the person.  

And it's bashing us over the head to ask where we're doing it right now.

Every wedding has the peanut gallery that insists the couple is doomed as they lavishly enjoy the same couple’s open bar cocktail hour and lukewarm pigs in a blanket. Perhaps they’re right. 

But the couple who everyone gives six months, max card is a portal into our own judgments about relationships and where they come from within us. What relationship experiences have caused our perspective about this couple? Whatever's causing us to tell them they're screwed is jumping up and down to be seen and worked out within us.

This crusader who’s going to change the world after he collects the door cash for Friday’s kegger sees the planet as a fundamentally hostile and unsafe place; one that needs to be controlled. 

The Revolutionary / Phi Kappa treasurer card indicates a discomfort with the world that mirrors the discomfort within, drawing a line between the two and examining how one directly leads to the other.

It also calls us to clean the vomit off the couch from pledge week.

“I swear, these humans...”, the alien grunts, as it takes a drag of a Pall Mall and sips on a non-alcoholic beer from Mars. Looking down at humanity from its evolved perch, the extraterrestrial rolls its eyes at this unevolved species, sneering in disbelief that we could still be involved in things such as wars, hatred and three-hour DMV wait times. 

It is this judgement of the Alien who’s tired of our bull**** card that calls us to explore our own judgements towards those who are behind us in our own journey. Perhaps those who continue to drink heavily after we’ve gone sober. Or those who follow a faith we’ve since abandoned. Or those who still take the turnpike when everyone knows the parkway will get you there in half the time. 

This card asks us to soften our hearts towards those who are still walking the road we’ve already traveled.

 Many clubs have a signature cocktail, and “Ugh” with a splash of eye-roll is the house special at every club that features a single, lonely 40+ man standing at the edge of the railing, watching the dance floor, and hoping someone...anyone...will give him their attention.

It’s easy to cast a superior eye towards this character, seeing him as a pitiful figure and one worthy of scorn and disgust. Yet this card is an opportunity to put ourselves in the shoes of the down-on-their-luck character we mock and ask ourselves, “What brought them to this point?”, and “How would I react if I were in their situation?”

It’s an invitation to empathy and understanding; and to also keep a close eye on one’s drink...as even empathy has its limits. 

Get your popcorn out, kick back, pour a glass and enjoy the show. The Niece who blows up Thanksgiving card represents the surfacing of deep-seated feelings you have about your family, often played out by the one relative who no longer gives a damn about the repercussions of their behavior or brutal honesty while gorging on cranberry sauce and dry poultry. 

They are the honesty you’ve likely been repressing and an opportunity to examine where you’d like to speak your mind but have been holding back for one reason or another. 

“That’s a GREAT idea!”, proclaims the Office Kiss-Ass after every objectively terrible idea put forth by upper management in a vain attempt to secure their standing and financial future. 

This card brings to light any feelings of insecurity we have and how we manifest them through being especially agreeable, not rocking the boat and going out of our way to get along with the powers that be. Is this showing up at work? At home? At the local indie bookstore where you buy an extra candle just to stay in the good graces of the temperamental owner?

 There he stands, 6'5 feet tall, strapping, great with kids and dogs, and embodying many other qualities that stand in direct contrast to either you or your current or future love interest. 

The Book Boyfriend card is a window into the expectations of perfection we place upon ourselves and others in relationships and the lack of self-love that flows from the pursuit of these impossible standards. 

It’s also a reminder to book that trip to Scotland before high season and all the castles are unavailable, forcing you to stay in a Best Western by the Loch instead. 

 There he goes, faster than a speeding Ritalin bottle, more powerful than three teachers trying to tackle him as he blazes through the hallway. It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s...the kid who the other kids look at with a deep sense of envy, because he remains true to his self. Seriously, this kid is awesome. 

And the others in the class, tethered to their seats with heads down and mouths shut like corporate middle-managers, longingly gaze with envy that this child hasn’t forgotten what makes them...a child. Where is your inner child hiding? And when was the last time they came out to play? 

 Downward Dog and Ibuprofin are often used in the same sentence after the age of 30. And the Yoga teacher who lands you in traction card is a glimpse into your own level of physical health. 

If you need to walk, jog, stretch, lift, or truck-pull against Icelandic bodybuilders a bit more, this card is an invitation to take stock of what your body is telling you and how to best serve it moving forward. 

It wouldn’t be a family affair without hearing how great your comparably-aged cousin is doing, would it? After all, why can’t you be more like them? Really, this isn’t rhetorical. Why can’t you? We’re not leaving until we get an answer.

The better-looking, more successful cousin is a card that takes a snapshot of where we are in our path of success, guiding us to ask how satisfied we truly are against the mirror of someone else who has it all together on the surface. Your reaction to this relative and this card is the check-engine light for your own life's satisfaction.

I mean, it seemed like a good idea at the time, right? Then came the request for child support checks and quality time with the kid and our friend disappeared into the deepest caverns of the Himalayas. Or more likely, his cousin’s couch in Akron. 

The Baby Daddy card is a representation of the people we attract into our lives and the decisions that brought them into our ecosystem. It implores us to own these decisions and integrate them into our story moving forward. What have we learned from these encounters about who we are and what we accept, attract and feel we’re worth?

 They nod, nod, and nod some more as you tell your tale...then nod off. Even during the riveting 78th rendition of the time your older brother smeared lasagna all over your favorite bathing suit when you were nine. 

The Bored Therapist card is an indicator that the stories you’re telling about your life may have run their course, and it’s time for a reframe. A newer, more interesting story. Where can the pathways to that story be found? 

Connection request accepted. Now the real fun begins. 

“I HAVE A GREAT NEW SERVICE I’D LIKE TO MERCILESSLY SHOVE DOWN YOUR THROAT. WHEN CAN YOU JUMP ON A 15-MINUTE CALL TO DISCUSS??”

The LinkedIn Maniac card is a look into myopia, where our needs and wants are front and center, and we foist them upon the world without reading the room. Does what we need and want also take into account the needs and wants of others? 

 “I learned this online...here we go”, says the person who’s about to inflict grotesque horrors upon your spinal column. The Dangerously Unqualified Chiropracter card indicates that we may have some semblance of imposter syndrome happening ourselves. 

When have we been trusted to perform an action, do a job or provide expertise we secretly think we’re complete quacks at? This card wants us to ground ourselves in the knowledge that no matter how little we may think of our abilities, we’re still not likely to fracture someone’s vertebrae in the process. 

 Remember that kid? We all do. It’s hard to forget now that they’re signing your paycheck after enduring years of atomic wedgies and other assorted terrors. 

Yet the bullied dork who’s now your boss card holds within it the mirror of progress and transformation, showing where you’ve alchemized your own pain and torment into power and growth.  

The Bat Signal goes out to all Millennials and Gen Z and Gen Y superheroes in Gotham. Who can step up and save granny who needs to check her AOL inbox? After all, some Dell’s and HP’s just want to watch the world burn. But those who answer the call of this card answer another as well, that of their own relevance.

Do you feel a fear of becoming obselete? This card may indicate some concerns that the world is passing you by. If you no longer recognize the movies, music or tech around you, it's a sign that it's time to step into the modern world or at least have Netflix make a nostalgic show about a time when everything still made sense.

A hundred grand worth of attorney’s fees on both sides, and this useless thing that’s been falling apart since the 90s still doesn’t have a home. Both sides refuse to give an inch, and five more years of legal battles will ensure over its cherished fate.

The Ottoman at the center of the divorce card indicates you may be holding onto something trivial in your own life that’s keeping you from your next step. Is it an object, an idea, a belief, or something else?

 It’s springtime! Summertime! No. It’s 48 degrees and cloudy. Nine months of winter wasn’t enough...it’s time for juuuust a little more. Why? Because **** you, that's why.

This card represents the disappointment we feel after anticipating something that doesn’t come to pass, and how we handle that moment when it arrives. What have you been looking forward to that’s let you down, and how have you been able to move forward? 

 Nude he stands, awaiting landfall of a Category 5 hurricane after just having wrestled an alligator and devoured a living water python. Florida Man is a beacon for one’s own crazy, and this card indicates that you have a freak flag of your own that you’re dying to let shine at some point. 

That point would be now. The card isn’t asking nicely. Florida Man doesn’t ask nicely. Florida Man simply Florida Man’s at a time and place of his choosing.

 If only they knew what you were actually thinking or really capable of beneath that veneer of that law-abiding citizen who wouldn’t do that truly monstrous thing that just crossed your mind. 

The Completely Unassuming Cannibal card is asking you to look your inner darkness in the eye with acceptance and recognize that you are every bit as capable of doing all the things you judge, and to grant yourself forgiveness for that recognition. Also, pass the salt.

  What are you hiding? She knows. She always knows. In fairness, she may no longer remember your name or hers, and thinks it’s still August of ‘78. But still...she knows. 

The senile Abuelita who still sees right through you card is a sign that a deeply-held secret may be burning you up inside, with a fear that the wrong person is about to find out at the wrong time. Is it time to confess? To others? To yourself? 

The Death card of the Joe Blow Tarot deck; the Meeting with H.R. signifies that something in your life is about to come to an end, potentially with a severance package if you play your cards right and don't upset the apple cart.

This card asks you to embrace this major life change with strength and trust, knowing that what's waiting for you is better than what came before. Even as you're disengenuously thanked for your service and perp-walked out of the building.

"Goddammit! I knew I should have taken 301!", shouts the driver stuck on I-95, realizing he just gave away the secret of 301 which will now cause everyone to take 301 and turn it into another I-95.

This card speaks to a feeling of being stuck with something big somewhere in your life; of wanting to move forward but feeling majorly blocked. Hope you filled up before you hit Fredericksburg.

You had your fun. And now the check has come due, usually in a way that's less than pleasant and may or may not involve burning, itching and a subsequent trip to the pharmacy.

The finding out you have the clap card could indicate a moment of accountability is on the horizon, where your decisions will catch up with you. But take heart, as this is an opportunity to clean the slate and move forward from a higher level of behavior and awareness and kombucha which will counteract the effects of the antibiotics on your system.

One minute, you're enjoying dinner at Vitarelli's, and the next, your dish begins singing and dancing after the brownies from earlier finally kick in.

As you embrace this moment of highly entertaining psychosis, you realize the connectivity of all things. And this card indicates that you're awakening to that nature in your own life, drawing thru-lines and seeing patterns that were once invisible. Stay on this path as even greater realizations are coming, and the meatballs join in on the big closing number too.

You knew you shouldn't have had that ice cream. And yet you did it anyway. Bon voyage, friend. It's been real.

The lactose intolerance card is a sign that we're consuming too many things that are unhealthy for our spirits; from depressing news channels to toxic gossip to inflammatory social media content. It's a warning sign to scale back on the things that leave us feeling worse for the wear. Except Rocky Road. Damn the torpedoes.

Is your accountant Godzilla? Frankly, there are worse you can hire to find deductions in your last "business" trip to Indianapolis.

But the Running from a Giant Accountant card speaks to an unhealthy relationship you have with money, one that either obsesses over it too much or doesn't tidy up the financial P's and Q's to keep things on track. It's an opportunity to look this giant in the eye with calm and clarity instead of sending in the choppers.

Eggplants are known to be fairly self-centered vegetables. This was covered in Leviticus and the Declaration of Independence. And this card shines a light on any over-the-top self-obsession we may be engulfed in right now.

Whether it's 20 selfies a day, excessive boasting or even the overindulgence of self-pity, the Eggplant Narcissism card is a call to check ourselves and our egos at the door and remember that the overall story is much, much bigger.

"So, that was...uhh...nice?" 

Good talk, Russ. 

The post-coital awkwardness card is something deep within your libido asking you to examine your relationship to sex, your current level of satisfaction and what you can do to change things for the better from a place of honesty with yourself and others.

We knew it would eventually come to this, didn't we? 

The All-Inclusive Vacation card is a sign that your grip on reality may be slipping away, and everything you once considered normal is now simply a figment of your imagination. You may find yourself disoriented at times or untethered from things you once took for granted. 

On the plus side, you may get a roommate who thinks she's Medusa, so that would at least be fairly entertaining.

"Who cares?"

Asking for a friend. Really, who cares?

The Meh card signifies a descent into apathy, a sign that the things that once held your passion and interest and attention no longer captivate you as they once did. 

It's an opportunity to look at this apathy as a gift, and rather than trying to dive back into things you don't care about at all, see what new experiences could capture your attention and re-invigorate your spirit.

"So, my dad left my mom for the gardener...but at least she threw in a free mulching with every homewrecking."

The Absolutely hilarious trauma card, signified by the stand-up comedian who makes a living treading on the memories of her personal hell, is a flashing light that your own trauma is being unconsciously suppressed, and possibly worked out through unhealthy mechanisms like entertaining drunken boors for no money on a Wednesday.

Buckle up, buttercup. 

The Colonoscopy Prep Day card means that you're about to purge something from your life that's long needed to go, and it may be a memorable experience in the process.

Be sure to keep plenty hydrated as this happens and use baby wipes. You're welcome. 

Is your world falling apart around you, forcing you to pretend everything is actually perfectly fine as this flight attendant is doing on a flight that's clearly not going to make it?

The "Remain calm, this is totally normal" card is a representation of chaos in your life that calls you to be steady, hold your ground and maintain your composure through the experience. Even as the flames are lit all around and the nuns from "Airplane" are shaking the hell out of the passengers next to you. 

Yikes. We've all been there. On the giving or receiving end. And either way, it's a brutal experience.

The Farting loudly on Zoom card is a stand-in for deep feelings of shame and embarrassment you carry around from a past deed (or misdeed) that you continue to punish yourself over. And it's also a call to let it go. 

You had a lot of cashews that morning. It happens to the best of us.

Does anyone even like kale smoothies? This is a serious question and we'll go to the ends of creation to find its answer.

Or, as the Kale Smoothie Mafia card suggests, is it something we simple go along with consuming because everyone else does, and claims we should too?

This card is an opportunity to take inventory of your life and what you do and think. Are these actions and thoughts yours, or things you engage in because others insist you should?

What a coup when this happens, right? I mean, saving the extra trip so we can get to the couch 30 seconds earlier is simply everything. 

The Carrying all the grocery bags in the house in one shot card is a chance to examine your own superpowers, ones that you've perhaps not leaned into as much as you could be. 

What are you truly excellent at that you've been neglecting because of other responsibilities? You came here to be a hero. Be the damn hero. The couch is beckoning.

Do you have the confidence of a meteorologist? The one who will boldly look you in the eye and tell you Saturday will be beautiful for a picnic right before the sky opens up and fries you with a bolt of lightning?

This card is a chance to dig into that hidden confidence, step out from the fear of failure and proudly make your own declarations that are almost certainly going to fall flat on their face too. After all, they still have a job when they fail. And you'll be ok too.

Work? That's nice. Someone else will handle it. It's Rose' all day, bitches. 

The 10 a.m. Monday Happy Hour card is a look into your own relationship with the responsibilities in your life. What things do you resent doing? What do you avoid getting done that need to get done? What obligations have you blown off?

What Rose' are you drinking? Don't hoard it all. We're thirsty too, you know.

Uh oh. There he is. Looking as menacing and Ancient Egyptian as always.

This MFer is a card that brings your ancestral/family trauma right to your face and reminds you that you're the one who came here to transmute and heal all the crapola they've accumulated since the beginning of time.

What's one small thing you can do today that your relatives wouldn't think to do in order to break the cycle? This MFer won't stop staring you down until you do it. No pressure.

The Badass Bodega Cat does not suffer fools, nor does it suffer vermin. That's why we love our little buddy and always have. 

This card also shines a light on the protectiveness all around you by the unseen hand of your angels, spirits or mobbed-up friend with the lazy eye who remembers the time you picked up his car from the impound lot and now owes you a life debt.

It's also a call to remember your own protective instincts about the ones you love, and to commend yourself for doing your small part to keep them alive. That's not nothing.